Welcome to another episode of the podcast that teaches you how to be a ridiculously good virtual assistant.
Today we are going to talk about imposter syndrome – what it is, and how to kick it to the curb!
Today’s Quote: There are an awful lot of people out there who think I’m an expert. How do these people believe all this about me? I’m so much aware of all the things I don’t know. – Dr Margaret Chan
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Connect with Tracey D’Aviero, VA Coach and Trainer
Episode Notes:
Have you ever said these things to yourself – or out loud?
I’m a fraud
Who am I to be doing this
What if I get found out
I don’t know what I’m doing
I just got lucky
I’m not an expert, I’m not even good at this
I have no idea what I’m doing
I’m not good enough
Everyone else knows what they are doing, except me
I can’t do this
Why does anyone want to hear my opinion on this?
Is today the day someone finds me out?
This won’t last, I better enjoy it now
I can’t charge someone for this
I just want to help people
These are all statements that get dumped into the idea of Imposter Syndrome.
We feel like we are not good enough to do what we are doing, to charge what we charge, to work with who we work with, to speak out loud about how good we are.
It’s a real and very common feeling. As a Virtual Assistant, many of us are women who came from secretary-ish roles where someone else was the boss.
Someone else got paid more than we did to do the important stuff, and we just looked after their back end stuff.
There was always someone higher up than us in every company.
So now as a business owner it can be a hard transition to see our own value and to showcase it to others.
We are the highest up in our own company and it is a new place for us to be!
And we can have feelings of inadequacy – maybe just sometimes, maybe often.
Make no mistake, we are qualified to do what we are doing.
You are a smart, capable, skilled, educated, experienced professional.
So why does it feel like everyone is going to ‘find you out’ one day and it will all be over?
Why is it that you look at others and think ‘they have it, they know what they are doing, they are smarter than me’.
They aren’t any smarter than you. They might look like it on the outside, but how do you know that they aren’t feeling the same thing as you?
I’m here to tell you that it’s not just you.
Imposter syndrome is CRAZY common. I found a study on Hubspot that says 82% of people have suffered from it at one point or another. 82%!!!
It doesn’t discern – women, men, young, old, experienced, brand new.
And it even affects people at different stages of their business. If you are growing, you might feel it. If you are struggling, you might feel it.
It can cause fear, anxiety, depression, self-sabotage, self-doubt, and a whole host of other icky feelings.
It’s exactly as Dr. Chan puts it. I’m so aware of all the things I don’t know. We focus on what other people know that clients seem to want or need. I am so aware of what some other people know that I don’t know – as I’m sure you are too – but that doesn’t mean that we need to learn that thing.
She also says that there are an awful lot of people out there that think I’m an expert – that think YOU are an expert. And you know what? They are right!
So how then, do we kick imposter syndrome to the curb?
Well it starts by not being the only person that you talk to every day.
For some reason, we seem to think that being a one-woman show means doing everything ourselves.
Even though we teach our clients that they need help, we somehow don’t think we are supposed to get help.
And flying solo definitely impacts how we think of ourselves.
As a matter of fact, I found so many ways to help banish imposter syndrome that I am actually going to do this in two part.
So here we got with the first few tips!
Adjust Your Inner Monologue
I came across this quote and I loved it so much I knew it was how I wanted to start off.
I wish someone would invent a tape recorder that we could attach to our brains to record everything we tell ourselves. We would realize how important it is to stop this negative self-talk. Ariana Huffington
What you say to yourself matters. Keeping an eye on what you are saying out loud is easy – but you also need to be mindful of what you are saying in your head.
If you are anything like me, I can look at the clock at 2 pm on any given day and realize I haven’t said a word out loud.
Just working. No meetings. No words spoken aloud.
But boy, let me tell you about the hundreds of conversations I have had in my head!
All damn day I talk to myself. And some of it is not kind.
We don’t do it on purpose, it just happens.
I remember reading that it takes the brain hearing 5 positive thoughts to crush a negative one. Five!
Our brains are one of the most powerful instruments on earth. If the brain can not think positive on default, how do you suppose you can?
It’s why the positive thinkers of the world tell you to speak affirmations, or stick up positive post it notes where you can see them daily.
Your brain will react to the positivity, but being able to help it along makes a huge difference.
It’s manifesting without the woowoo!
Focus On Your Value
What we do comes easily to us, right?
I know what I do does.
You have heard me say that a business coach of mine used to say what comes easiest to you is what you should be charging the most for.
An awesome idea. It is your expertise that you should be selling.
But so often we don’t recognize the true value of what we are doing for our clients.
We think everyone knows how to do what we do.
They don’t.
Not our clients, not even other Virtual Assistants.
We are unique, and we know what we are doing. You know what you are doing.
If I asked you right not what value your clients get from hiring you, what would you say?
So many VAs struggle with this whole concept. They simply can’t articulate it.
Did you know that if you were creating regular marketing content, the words would come much more easily to you?
Think about it. What do you write in your content? How you specifically help your clients. Why it is important for them to get support. How they can work with you and how you make it easy for them to do that.
All value! And remember your brain will also hear it when you are creating content like that every day.
A super easy way to focus on your value. Create great content!
Know Your Stuff
That goes hand in hand with the next thing .
What do you know how to do?
What can you do for your VA clients?
Document your expertise. Write it down.
Seeing, concretely seeing, what you are capable of in writing helps to reinforce it for you.
You can see your skill sets, your expertise, your value.
You can’t showcase it to others if you don’t truly know it yourself.
If you have done my skills inventory, you will have done this. Think about every job you have had, every training you have taken, every volunteer opportunity.
What have you learned? You know much more than you talk about every day, that I can guarantee you.
A lot of VAs think only about their last job or role when coming up with their services. But the list goes way beyond that.
Write it down, reinforce for yourself and then tell others about it.
Writing it down will also show you the gaps. What don’t you know? Learn it.
Now that doesn’t mean learn social media if you don’t have clients yet, it means learn how to se a CRM that your audience is using if you offer executive admin services.
Remember we are talking about Imposter syndrome here. Nothing robs your self- confidence more than trying to learn social media, not being totally sure what you are doing, and charging clients for it.
Work with what you know already. Your Stuff. Do the best you can at it and shine!!
Now, I’m going to leave it here for this week but I have so much more to share with you on this topic of Imposter Syndrome.
And I want you to know that I can help you do this stuff in your business. That’s literally the reason I am here. To help you become a ridiculously good VA.
What You Need to Do Next:
This is exactly what I help VAs do. As a Virtual Assistant coach and trainer, I help you set yourself up for success, helping you fix the specific things that are going wrong in your business. When we work together either privately or in a group we talk specifically about your business and you – there is no one stop solution for everyone when it comes to service businesses like VA businesses.
I’ll help you get clarity around your issues, and cheer you on as you walk through the steps to fix them.
I’ve helped hundreds of VAs through their challenges and got them on their way to growing their business and the lifestyle that they dream of.
I’d love to do the same for you.
Let’s work together privately to get you to your really big goal. It’s the fastest way to get results and we can start right away. Learn more about private coaching here.
The Virtual Circle (TVC) is a monthly mastermind group for Virtual Assistants just like you. We get together 3 times a month for group Zoom sessions to talk about what you are struggling with, working on, or celebrating. It’s a close knit community of your VA colleagues that provides the best kind of support for your VA business. Learn more about TVC here.
My self study program Getting Started as a VA can help you get your VA business started easily and quickly too. You can sign up right away and be on your way to getting clients by the end of the program, with all the right foundations in place. Check out the program here.
Reach out to me if you need to talk about where you are stuck and what the right option might be to get you moving. It’s literally all I’m here to do is help you get to where you want to go. Book a complimentary Cut to the Chase call with me here.